Thursday, October 30, 2008

Soliloquy of Stillness

There is a certain quality of stillness that is tremendously enticing. And yet not something that one can oft achieve. Particularly when you are someone like me who just simply cannot stop thinking. Not even for a fraction of a second. There is a certain irritation that accompanies the inability get that grey matter in one's head to simply be still for just a while.

I don't find myself to be a particularly envious person. Especially not of the opposite gender. However, I am covetous of the male mind on one point: it can actually accomplish the feat of not thinking. At all. Men utterly confound me with their proficiency to not think. Like, actually, not think. The capacity of the male mind to shut down any and all analytical reasoning is astounding. And I want that.

There is a comedian whose name escapes me right now that has a fabulous sketch on the differences between the male and female minds. How womens' brains are able to focus on many different tasks simultaneously and are incapable of rest. Men, however, are only able to focus on a single thing at a time. The male mind is like a chest of drawers and everything is categorized into its own separate drawer. But, alas, the male mind has a drawer specifically set aside for nothing. Nothing! This drawer is aptly labeled "The Nothing Drawer."

Ladies, you have to be able to relate to my invidiousness to this skill. Can you imagine even a few seconds of sheer mental stillness? And yet, how many times have you asked your man what he is thinking about and he looks at you with this dumb look on his face and says.... "uuuuuhhhhh..... Nothing." Now, your immediate natural and well-understandable reaction to this most likely goes something like this: "How can you not be thinking about anything? Nothing? Not one little thing? Nothing at all?"

Ugh. The word "jealousy" does not begin to scratch the surface of my sentiments towards this ability. It would just be marvelous to be able to be completely and simply still. Just once!

But, alas and alack, I was born with the wrong chromosomes for this talent. I suppose that I shall have to just continue on with my constant ponderings and over-analytical brainal functions.

I'm going to hope and pray that "Nothing Boxes" are on sale this Black Friday. I will stock up on them and perhaps sell a few on Ebay. I'm sure I would be able to finance my private island off of that. And before you ask, yes, I shall set one aside for you.


Faith said...

I'll take one!

Laura Jane said...

not thinking. that certainly would be nice. very nice. not over-analyzing would be even better. i'll take one of those "nothing boxes" as well.

Cody S. said...

Haha...I enjoyed this post tenfold. Its kind of true - while I'm often guilty of overthinking and running amok up in that brain station of mine...I still occasionally catch myself staring at the computer screen completely blank - unable to recall the last 5 minutes. Even more common - I'll suddenly "wake up" to being called out during a lecture, staring blankly at the blackboard ahead. It's always an experience. Very much akin to that described in Memento whe he first wakes up. Only instead of a hotel room, its some broken-english-speaking Doctorate who knows all you can imagine about some obscure topic but can't seem to remember your name, or where he put the paper he was just holding.

I guess I'll take it as a blessing from now on though haha.

You should also watch Louis C.K.'s newest stand up. He has a section that discusses the male vs the female. Its spectacular. And - let me know if you think of the comedian you're trying to remember... I vaguely recall seeing that once myself, but I'm drawing a total blank.

I'll cease now before I out-post you.

Rach said...

I especially appreciate the reaction of "well I was thinking about..." *insert insignificant, silly "thing" here* post serious conversation. Either that or "nothing"- I agree- I too, am envious of the empty brain phenomena.