Wednesday, January 28, 2009

25 of the Most Random Things I Can Think Of

1. I have a dry erase board on my refrigerator that I bought so that I could do things like... write myself notes to stay organized. I basically haven't used it at all in 2 years. My mom wrote a note on it about a year ago that says "Mommy Loves You" that is still there.

2. I'm addicted to throws. As in blankets. I love them. I have four of them just on my couch and a few more downstairs in the garage in storage. I think its a problem. Maybe I should go to therapy for that.

3. I hate when hands come out of weird places in movies. Like that part in The Sixth Sense when the little girl's hand comes out from under the bed. Or the part in Signs when the alien hand comes out from the coal chute. Or the part in Gothika when the hand comes out from behind the staircase. Etc. It totally freaks me out.

4. I strongly dislike dusting. I think that dust shouldn't exist. It has alot of nerve getting all over the place for me to clean up.

5. I think that Internet Explorer should be struck from the face of the Earth. The end.

6. I have nerve damage in the inside sides of both my big toes from dancing on pointe. I had essentially no feeling in them for years.

7. I never used to wash dishes with gloves. I don't know why. This doesn't make any sense.

8. I dislike most wallpaper designs. I'd like to know who got paid to think of something as awful as massive flowers in a repetitive pattern. Seriously, doesn't anyone know what that does to your visual senses? I think I'd rather stare into a strobe light for hours on end.

9. I use Google to check my spelling of certain words.

10. I'm incredibly picky about winter coats. I only buy them when my last one is falling apart because I know that its going to an ordeal.

11. Bad acting makes me want to claw my eyeballs out. So does bad singing. And bad dancing. And bad art.

12. The last 2 fingers on my left hand go numb often. Maybe I should get that checked out.

13. There is nothing better than a good cry when you need one.

14. I find "asterisk" to be a very strange word.

15. I would like a grape arbor when I finally buy a house. I think that they're very spectacular and beautiful.

16. I think that Jesus wasn't thinking very clearly when he created snow. I mean, come on. Seriously?

17. I find wrapping up in a big blanket to be one of the most comforting things in life.

18. I find the way our ankles, toes, knees and hips bend and work together to be fascinating.

19. I typically like indie films much better than mainstream ones. Same thing goes for music.

20. I can't wait to turn 30! I've heard many people say that their 30s were way better than their 20s. I could go for some of that.

21. I think 2009 is going to be my year. I can just FEEL it!

22. I fully support arranged marriages. Whoever thought up dating ought to be drug out to the street and shot. Who needs to actually be in love with the person they marry? Pssssshhhht.

23. I think red nail polish is awesome and I'd wear it constantly if I didn't bite all my nails off all the time.

24. I'd really like to fluently speak another language one day. I only have one problem... I am simply not motivated enough to do it.

25. Today is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. I DO appreciate bubble wrap. It prevents me from causing bodily harm to other people. You know what they say.... Therapy is expensive, bubble wrap is cheap. Any questions?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cell Phones and Water Don't Mix

It seems that certain people are just prone to a particular kind of accident. I have a friend that loses sunglasses. Constantly. Its like a compulsion. There must be a part of her brain that works in cahoots against her in regards to sunglasses. She will often purchase several pairs at once, just so that they'll last her a week. Combined. I've never seen anything like it. I have another friend who is persistently misplacing her keys. Its rather unbelievable. She's lost her keys in grocery stores, Walmart, church, her own apartment. Basically, unless they are attached to her body in some fashion, they are at a high risk of getting lost.

I happen to be prone to a certain kind of accident myself. Not one that I'm very fond of, and it can be rather expensive at times as well. I break phones like nobody's business. I've had cell phone service for about 8 years now, and I believe I've only made it to Verizon's "new every two" deal once. My first phone met its fateful end in a toilet (and yes, it was a public bathroom. And no, there had been no "business" done in that particular bowl when the fateful drop occurred. Thank God). My next phone was dropped in such excess that the screen finally gave out. A phone or two after that was pulled from a high height by my nephew while it was plugged in (I had stupidly put it on top of a armoir with the cord dangling down. That is rather irresistible to a 2 year old). The force of the fall broke the part of the phone that the charger snaps into. *Sigh*

My current phone recently had a very close brush with its eternal demise in a bathroom sink. Clearly, I should never take my phones anywhere near water. Its begging for disaster. I had gently placed the phone on the sink counter and turned on the water when... *plop*... "Are you freaking KIDDING me?!" I thought to myself. I had just had a fabulous weekend at a youth workers retreat, filled with good worship, good teaching, and some very, very good laughter. And here, while I was living on practically no sleep mind you, my weekend ends with my cell phone sliding its way into liquid.

After hurriedly drying it off, I removed the battery and let it air dry. I was convinced that it was dead after attempting to turn it on several times only to have it completely freak out and spaz on me. I conceded myself to the fact that it was, in fact, dead. Gone. Kaput. Peace out girl scout.

Thankfully, my family has a weird habit of keeping all of their old cell phones. Probably because it has become apparent that I will continuously destroy my phone, so I need to have some sort of backup. I was able to get a hold of my parent's old cell phone, which, by the way, I had used last time my phone broke. Luckily, all of my contacts were still saved in there.

And then, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. Okay, so it wasn't the forum. It was really the trash can. I was about to toss my poor dead phone into the garbage when I decided, what the heck, I may as well try it one more time. It had been 2 days since the fateful plop. Perhapsly the inside mechanisms had dried out and unfried themselves! I push the power button... and what do you know! It turns on without a problem! No buttons pushing themselves on their own, no crazy fritzing on the screen. Nothing but pure, sheer workingness! Amazing! It was a sign from heaven that Jesus does love me after all, even though I keep insisting on having my phone in the bathroom with me.

So, I am able to use my phone for another 6 months, at which time I will be able to upgrade. I will be sure to start taking precautions, like maybe keeping my phone in a plastic bag, or gluing it to my hand or something. Lord knows I need to do something...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to see some Identification, please

Apparently you now need to be "of age" to purchase cold medicine. Yes, I know. This is truly absurd. I discovered this gem of insight last week, while practically dying of sickness, what with a cold and all. I had spent the day at home, working from the comfort of my couch. A quick trip into the office passed me by the local grocery store, which I decided to pay a visit in search of tissues and something to stop the coughing and constant drippage of my nasal passages.

After managing to infect a few aisles with my germs, I headed to the self checkout since I only had a few purchases to make and I wouldn't have to wait in line. I was minding my own business, carefully scanning each item. When I came to the cold medicine, however, something very odd and off putting happened. The machine started talking to me. It sounded something like this... "PLeaSe shOW tHE CAshIer yOUr IdenTIfiCAtion." (they do tend to emphasize the most akward parts of a word... Why is that?)

I must have stood there for about 30 seconds, sheerly stupified by the request. "Show the cashier my ID? For what? Its Tylenol Cold!" I thought to myself. I stole a few glances at the box in my hand to make sure that they hadn't legalized crack cocaine over the weekend and started selling it in your friendly neighborhood store without my knowledge. No matter how many times I looked at the box, it continued to say "Tylenol Cold". I apparently had not missed any major changes to the legality of street drugs.

In my utter confusion, I finally decided that it may be a good idea to turn my puzzled look over towards the cashier (who I could tell was not so happy at missing her afternoon soap opera). She then mumbled the same strange words..... "Can I see your ID?" I must have looked at her as if she had just asked me to produce an elephant out of my behind or something. It took me a full 15 seconds to recover myself enough to fumble around in my purse for my driver's license.

This experience would definitely classify as one of my most awkward and strange trips to the grocery store. It seems that the youth and druggies of the world must have come up with a way to make meth out of antihistimine. Who knows. Its all just strange. Very, very strange.