Monday, June 29, 2009

Thoughts on a Monday

I oft wonder if men are built with the same innate desires... no, longing, to be needed. As a woman, it is programmed into my DNA. I need to be needed. My lack of a husband and children often leaves that longing, in a sense, unfulfilled. I'm not really needed by anyone. Sure, there are people whose lives may not be as full without me, but I fear that it is still different.

Today, I felt needed. It wasn't for long, and it wasn't for much, but a friend needed me today. She didn't even ask, I offered my assistance to a very difficult situation. I was so grateful to be able to help, and, selfishly, to feel needed. I can never decide just how selfish it is to hunger after being needed. In that necessity, there is most definitely an unselfish act, that putting aside our own to be something for someone else. But is there still selfishness in that selfless act? It is a ponderance that I have mulled over time and time again. I don't know that I will ever quite have it figured out.

Today, I also experienced a miracle. I am planning on making another trip down to Guatemala this fall to be part of an arts camp for the kids. I was at first uncertain that I would be able to make the trip, due to finances. After some discussion, it became clear that God was calling me to make the journey and somehow figure out the dollars and cents that went along with it. Less than two weeks after making the decision to follow my heart, the financing for the trip has basically fallen out of the sky. I was nearly flabbergasted. It was some much needed encouragement for a not so great day up until that point. Jehovah Jirah certain does watch out for his children and provide.

I have nothing profound to say today. No soap box to climb up onto (although I'm sure I could if I tried), no great revelations or epiphanies on the meaning of life. Just some random thoughts that have been pressing on my tired mind. I do believe I shall try to sleep now. I do certainly believe I'll try.


Lauralei said...

After this beginning of this year and up until this point in time, I've realized that they are designed to be needed, and they do need a woman in the same sense that a woman needs a man, someone who needs them and wants them. I also think it's completely different way, and they might not show it as much as we feel it.

I think that the whole selfishness thing is a tricky subject. It depends on motives and the heart. But even then, it's still tricky. But God will bless things that you do for others with things like feeling wanted or needed. We're human, we'll always be selfish in some way or another, but if our heart is good, and our motives are good, I feel like we're probably ok.

And that is WONDERFUL! I'm so happy God has clearly shown you were you're supposed to be, and He's totally provided that for you. I love when He does that!

And I'm not quite sure who you might be talking about in your second paragraph, but I do know that I didn't ask for you to care or support or offer your sympathy yesterday, but you did. And that meant the world to me, and it brightened my day when you did that. Thank you, Beth. I know that my life would be less without you in it, even though I'm not a man ;-)

Cody S. said...

To need is human, in my humble opinion.

Ceidra said...

"Principle of limited selfishness—What we do, even if it is good and noble and sacrificial, we do with the ultimate sense that it will be good for us and hopefully others." -Grubby

I think we're made that way. I don't think it's all bad.

Bill Cummings said...

That's great news about your Guatemala trip being taken care of!!!

Granddad said...

As a husband and father I never feel like I'm not needed. Especially with four daughters, with cars, and air conditioners that need to be moved up and down with the seasons. But Lauralei used the word that rips at my heart quite often. WANT. I don't know if I speak for all men but for me I need to know that I'm wanted.