The Adventures of Brita

Step 1: Remove filter from package. Step 2: Remove aerator from faucet.

You know you're in trouble when you get stuck at Step 2. I didn't even know what an aerator on a faucet was until about 20 minutes ago. One of the first things I discovered as a new Philadelphian is that the water down here is awful. I truthfully have zero desire to know what's swimming around in the stuff that comes out of my faucet. I feel a bit sorry for giving it to my cats, and they lick their own butts. That's saying a lot.

Upon my discovery, I started purchasing bottled water. I love the convenience of having bottled water on hand, but the expense of it adds up quickly (particularly when you consume as much water as I do) and I hate thinking of all my convenient water bottles ending up in some landfill that could be put to better use. Considering the fact that my refrigerator is approximately the size of a postage stamp, that excluded purchasing gallon jugs of water. 5 weeks after the big move, I had an epiphany. "I'll just buy a Brita filter! Eureka!" Sometimes I amaze myself at my own brilliance.

At my second trip to Target today, I find the Brita pitchers, thanks to help from a friend 60 miles away who knew where to find them (thanks, Tunes. I'd probably still be looking for them). But, alas! I suddenly remember that, due to the postage stamp, I can't actually get a pitcher. It won't fit in my tiny fridge. What to do, what to do?

I have no idea how I managed to forget that they have filters that screw right onto your faucet. Probably because I've never had need for one. Happening upon the faucet filtration system was terribly exciting, probably the highlight of my week. "I'll just take this little beauty home and screw it right on my little faucet in my little kitchen. Oh joy!" I thought to myself.

When I was hanging up with my dear friend who told me where to find the filters, she says, "I feel a blog coming on." "Oh ho ho ho" I thought. It can't be that hard.... right?

Step 2: Remove aerator from faucet. What is that? Apparently, the aerator is the little dojigger screwed on to the end of your faucet. You wouldn't even know it was there unless... well, unless you knew it was there. I managed to get that off, with ripping off minimal skin in the process, and placed the adapter in place. After screwing on the Brita filter, I said to myself, "Oh, how silly. Blog my foot! This was so uneventful!" Then I turned the water on.

WHOOOOOOSH!!! It happened so fast that I don't actually recall the water spurting from the top of the filter onto the front of my shirt. I just know that I was drenched instantaneously. Something was clearly not right. I tried to tighten the filter, because that surely must be the problem. Turn faucet back on. "That's odd," says I. "I somehow just got even more wet."

A few more attempts of tightening the filter found the filter completely fallen off, nearly breaking a glass, and getting me even more wet. I finally managed to get it back on and tightened to the point where water wasn't spewing everywhere. The stray stream of water is now mostly contained. I can't seem to get that dang thing on properly to get it to completely stop though. I figure its better to risk getting a little damp than die from gastro-intestinal distress from drinking Philly water.

This is one of those times when having a man around would really be useful.