95/5 Is Not My Idea of Fun

I realize that I have been slacking in my blogging... um.... responsibility... as of late. Or whatever it is. Life has been very life-like lately and thus my mind has been scattered on other things. Not fun things, mind you. But life things. The kind of things that make you want to scream and freak out and hide under the bed for the rest of your existence. I've seriously considered the latter part there many, many times over the past few weeks. However, after much consideration, I decided against it on the basis that it may be upsetting for some people that like me, for whatever reason that is. I, however, believe that hiding from life under my bed with the monsters and dust bunnies sounds like a marvelous idea. I would no longer have to deal with anything, besides maybe being a little cramped and starving to death. But, hey, those sound like easy challenges. Right?

Sometimes is does feel like "life" is synonymous with "crap"... and "hell"... and "awfulness", doesn't it? When God said "in this life, you will have trials and tribulations", He sure as heck wasn't kidding. I think he said that to cover His butt. That way we can't turn around and yell at God and say that he didn't warn us. He sure did. Personally, if I were God, I believe I would have phrased it slightly different. Like "life blows. Get over it."

Sure, life isn't all bad. It does have its brief moments of non-awfulness, however far and few in between they may present themselves. I'd sure like more of an even split. Why not 50/50? Half crap and half amazing. Heck, 70/30 would even be an improvement. This whole 95/5 uneven keel is just not cutting the cake. It simply and purely is not my idea of a good time.

I am focusing on the hope of a non-crappy tomorrow. It may not be a literal tomorrow, but one day... things will get better. The new year is just blooming with promise of less crappy-ness of life-like crap. Or at least I keep telling myself that, since I have no real proof to back it up. Its just hope. Sometimes it does feel like hope is more of just a lie. But I guess in this case, its a good lie. A lie for the possibility of good, even if it seems improbable and unreachable. Or maybe life will surprise me... That would be nice.