Where is the love?

I've discovered that I have an issue. Well, I have lots of them, let's just be honest here. But I have one issue in particular that really lights a fire under me: People who lack compassion. Oh. My. Gosh. I've learned that if I come across someone who is blatant about their lack of compassion for people who are truly and sincerely hurting, being exploited, starving, et cetera... I basically want to hurt them. As in, severely maim.

I had a certain situation this week involving some people who were displaying a total lack of compassion for the people of Africa. They came up with the worst excuses I had ever heard for their behavior and comments, and it was everything that I could do to keep from stabbing their eyeballs out. I now understand a bit more why Jesus went on a rampage through the temple. Righteous anger is an intense emotion, let me tell you. I do not believe that ever in my 26 years have I been furious to the point of physical shaking and my hearing buzzing. The anger I felt towards these people was mixed with sympathy for their unfeeling attitudes towards people, children no less, in horribly desperate situations that are beyond what those living comfortably in America can even begin to imagine.

I do not understand how a person can have any sort of knowledge whatsoever about the devastation around the world and not feel for that. How is that even possible? If anyone even mentions human trafficking, starvation, exploitation, regardless of who it is or where it is, my heart physically aches. The human side of anyone should hurt for that. And yet, so many of us are so caught up in our own lives that we cannot see past that. Or, we are so focused on our own passions or ambitions that we segregate our compassion towards a single group of people and leave the rest to their own defenses. This is not right. I do not believe that segregated love is the kind of love that Jesus taught.

How can we, in good conscience as a human being, turn a blind eye to suffering? How? This completely boggles my mind. I do understand that younger generations may need to grow into compassion, in a sense. That egocentric mindsets can be lessened with maturity and may be something that has to be learned, rather than coming naturally. However, I find any excuse still to be pitiful. If you cannot look at a suffering fellow human and feel nothing, you are wasting your life. Absolutely throwing it away. We were not created to be caught up in ourselves, to spend what little time we have on this earth focusing on our own wants and desires. We were created for a higher purpose, to uphold each other, protect each other, help each other. Anything less and we may as well just give up. It is pointless.

I had to pray for compassion on those who angered me so. It took me a little while to remember that their self-involvement and arrogance in the situation was most likely fueled by issues that I could not see, personal crises that could be skewing their perception. I also need to remember to have compassion on those who do not seem capable of the same at that moment in time.

"Compassion is the radicalism of our time." - The Dalai Lama

Cameras and Thankfulness

I find myself getting frustrated often with technical difficulties that get in the way of my dreams. Like money. Money is a very big technical difficulty that presents a host of obstacles that clutter the path towards my dreams.

We all have those ideal careers, those things that we wish oh-so-hard that we could do well. I have quite a few of those. Things like, be a wild horse tamer, domesticate alligators to keep as pets, a best selling author, principal dancer for Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. But probably topping my list is to be a phenomenal photographer. I mean, the kind of photographer that makes people's jaws drop when they look at my photos. I have a decent eye for pictures, but I know that I'm not the most naturally gifted person out there. But I really want to be good at it.

One particularly massive obstacle in my path towards becoming the world's best photographer is that I don't have thousands of dollars just lying around with which to purchase top-notch camera equipment. In case you didn't know, let me enlighten you. Camera equipment is expensive. I mean, expensive. I've dug in my couch a few times to see if I could come up with enough loose change, but what I found wouldn't even buy a candy bar, much less super expensive equipment.

This is one of those times where I must learn to be satisfied, and remind myself that at least I have food on my table and a roof over my head. The important things in my life are more than taken care of, and that should be enough for me. I've been reminded lately of being thankful for what I have, and not to be longing and lusting after things out of my grasp. If God deems it fit, I will be blessed with my hearts desires for things I cannot afford. If not, I'll just be thankful for what I do have.

Its much simpler to just be thankful.

Presumptions and the Overwhelmption

As previously mentioned, I had a penchant for being a ridiculous version of a hypochondriac. As in, a fake one. As in, I'm am not actually a hypochondriac, but I sure do have a famously good time pretending to be. As also previously mentioned, I am partial to another amusement: originating diseases.

Several of my recent imaginings include the Swan Flu and the Pot Belly Pig Flu. Both continue to make symptomatic appearances on a daily basis. An another fabricated medical condition that I suffer from regularly is known as the Overwhelmption. I may have enlightened you to this infirmity in the past. It is of the direst of all ailments, causing symptomatic distress that is equitable something dreadful. Like Ebola. The Overwhelmption causes its victims much mental distress and emotional angst. There are typically sleepless nights and heightened anxiety to the point of hardly being able to focus on any one thing. Its quite terrible, really.

Yes, my friends, I have been afflicted with said Overwhelmption much of the last few weeks. I have been investigating some circumstantial life changes and my chronic indecision and lack of being able to trust God to lead my life in the right direction has brought my underlying Overwhelmption very much to the surface. I oft wonder why it is that I still have such a dreadful time trusting that God is leading me. I have 26 years of experience under my belt with no apparent life-altering horrible decisions that led me completely astray. Even the times where I felt that may have happened, I have been brought to a place where I can really see God's hand so evidently working me just to the place that I need to be. As in, at age 22 I was certain that I had missed the boat. I had several serious regrets about my college decisions, wondering if I had managed to royally screw up my life. Yes, some remnants of those regrets still remain deep in my soul. However, I am watching my life take a turn in a new direction, with new passions, new desires, and had I followed the path I thought I should be on at 22, I would be in quite the opposite place right now. My true calling in life could have been completely lost under what my presumptions were in relation to my ideas on what my life should be.

It is rather fascinating how our lives turn out. It is typically so opposite from what we thought it should be, in our stupidity of years past. And yet, even when we don't see it, God is moving us along, towards our destiny of as close to perfection as we will ever be. To be what He molded and shaped us to be.

Tonight, I am glad that I am not in charge of my life. Boy, how I would have screwed it up....