Lessons in Nailbiting. And Stress. And Panic.

I am on my couch, stress eating while wrapped in a blanket to stay warm. And watching election coverage. I failed to mention that part of my stress eating involved my fingernails. Disgusting, I know, but I'm a compulsive nail biter. I've managed to break this nasty habit on several occasions, but it tends to get worse with stress and considering my mental state at work as of late.... I think it goes without saying that my nails are no longer growing.

My stress level has skyrocketed today with the impending election results. Each presidential election for the past 12 years has found me terrifically alarmed while watching the results roll in. Being that I am one of the few, but more intelligent Americans, that does not pay out way too much money for cable TV, my eyeballs are now glued to my computer monitor instead. God bless modern day technology. Seriously! While it often drives me insane, I can watch live election coverage online. For free. So to all you suckers that pay for cable, be jealous!

I have to say that I find myself increasingly irritated with the media. To say that it is biased would be the understatement of at least the last 3 years. Pathetic, ridiculous and obscene are words that come to mind in trying to describe the blatant leanings of the media. I have been watching the news for the better part of the last 6 hours and McCain's name has hardly been mentioned. Granted, I am a conservative voter, but I believe that I would be equally beleaguered if the media focused almost solely on the republican candidate. Equality. Imagine! Such a concept.

I want unbiased, factual reporting, not an agenda being pushed on me through what is being reported and the way in which it is presented. I spent a few months several years ago looking at different news sources, ones known for being liberal and ones known for being more conservative, to see the differences in the reporting. It was amazing, really. If you've never done it, I recommend it. You'll be amazed at the incredulity behind the media's bias, whether liberal or conservative.

Not to mention, the media's bigotry turns a blind eye to the facts such as, oh, I don't know, that Obama is a complete socialist. I mean, hello?!?! Has no one paid attention to his taxation plans??? And yet, no where have I read that this is a point of concern. In fact, I've hardly heard it mentioned at all, except to be skewed that Obama is "for the middle class". Bull. Crap. He is not for the middle class, he is simply a straight up socialist who wants to redistribute wealth among the nation's citizens. For anyone who pays any attention to history, this should be cause for some very serious concern. But, considering that the majority is ignorant when it comes to politics and the media refuses to report the truth... I don't even know what else to say about it.

I am dumbfounded by the lack of interest in politics among the general public. We have the incredible right to vote, for which many, many lives have been lost in that defense. And yet, many do not take the time to research into the issues and stances of the candidates. Being a psychotic politically and socially minded person, I simply do not understand this. Choosing our nation's leaders is a hefty responsibility and as a voter, we should all be informed as to what their beliefs are. If not in depth, then at least the surface stances on the major issues. So. Frustrating.

My fingernails are taking a serious beating tonight. As are anyone's eyeballs who are brave enough to try to chat with me. And my sister's eardrums. She told me to stop yelling at her. I tried to explain that I wasn't yelling at her. I was yelling about the lack of interest of people in the issues. In people who are either don't care enough or don't want to make the effort to discover the truth behind what is transpiring in the world. The apathy incites a fury in me, not just in politics, but in other things as well. Social injustice, in particular. That gets me really heated. I've had encounters with people who don't even want to discuss social issues because "its upsetting." Yeah, well, no crap. That is precisely why you should know about it! Deep breath. If you can't tell, I get very, very worked up about politics and social issues. People who are not like that tend to avoid these sort of conversations with me. Ya know, the ones that involve my soapbox. I think it makes them uncomfortable.

Well, according to the results so far, Obama will be taking the White House in January. McCain's campaign just announced that they do not see a path to victory for this election. I will be selling my internal organs tomorrow to put a down payment on my island. I've had several takers so far in joining me in that. So, if you'd like to pitch in as well, please let me know. We'll start a communal society. Maybe learn how to farm. Or fish. Or maybe just eat coconuts and bananas for the rest of our lives. Kumbaya will be required singing around the campfire every night, as well as the recitation of the baby Jesus prayers from Talledega Nights.

"Dear little 8 pound, 6 ounce tiny infant baby Jesus...."

Lessons in How to be Terrified

Election day. The day that comes every 4 years, and I have yet to dread it any less. Tomorrow, the fearful day is upon us and our beloved country will choose a new leader. Or elect the anti-christ. One of the two.

In all seriousness, neither candidate looks particularly appealing. McCain is quick tempered and old, Obama is inexperienced and.... well.... I'll just stop there before I get in trouble. I'm considering writing in Nemo on the ballot, because it looks that an animated fish may be the better choice. I considered not voting, but I refuse to give up my right to complain about the government so off to the polls I go. I do enjoy complaining about the government, considering that they all have smarts equivalent to fruit flies.

This election will be historic, regardless of the outcome. Either the first black president or the first woman Veep. It will also be the first presidential election since 1988 which does not carry either a Bush or a Clinton on the ticket. And the first election in something like 50 years in which neither an incumbent president nor vice was not on the ballot. I think that point makes my nerves a bit more sensitive, being that the elected will be completely new to the White House. Ugh.

Not to mention, the policies presented by both parties are seriously lacking in any sort of feasibility. I mean, seriously, fining people for not having health insurance? I cannot think of anything more retarded than that. Hey, you can't afford to pay for health insurance, so the government is going to fine you as a result. Sounds like a great idea! Let's come up with completely unfair taxing practices which will remove taxes from the middle class and tax the upper class 65% of their income! Socialism, anyone? Awesome! And while we're at it, let's yank all of the funding out of charter schools and make home schooling illegal. Great! Or we can just keep our men and women in uniform in the Middle East for the next 100 years. Clearly, that will just solve all of the problems in the Muslim world. The level of brilliance in Washington astounds me. Really, really just... bewildering.

As previously mentioned, I have been looking into purchasing a private island. On the eve of the election with no good choices, this is a very appealing option. I'd much rather be ruler of my own beach with pineapple trees and monkeys than leave the fate of the nation I occupy to the idiots on the Hill. Before you know it, we may either be a military or communist state.

On that note, make sure you get out and vote. Protect your right to moan about the government!